Neo-soul is the genre that emerged in the mid-90s out of a conscious return to live drums — D'Angelo, Erykah Badu, Maxwell, Lauryn Hill — drawing on 70s soul and 90s hip-hop equally. The drumming style associated with it, especially through Questlove's playing on D'Angelo's records, is the most extreme version of the "behind the beat" pocket in popular music. The snare can be 50–80ms late while the kick stays closer to the click. Different limbs play with different time-feels at the same time.
This is the deep end of the pocket pool. hiphop-pocket-time introduced the concept of playing behind the click; this lesson takes that same idea and pushes it further, with the snare dragging hard while the hat and kick hold steadier. The result is a groove that feels almost broken — slightly wrong — and that wrongness is the genre.
Most drummers, asked to play behind the beat, drag the entire kit. Neo-soul drummers don't. They drag specific limbs by specific amounts. The hi-hat sits close to the click. The kick sits a little behind. The snare sits well behind — perceptibly later than where the metronome puts beat 2 and 4. The ghost notes drag with the loud snare. Doing this requires that your limbs aren't synchronized to a single internal pulse but to multiple pulses that happen to share a tempo.
You can practice this. Set the metronome to ♩=80. Play the hat on the click. Play the kick a fraction behind. Play the snare clearly behind. Hold all three independently. It feels weird; it's supposed to.
Neo-soul snares are typically tuned low, hit softly, and recorded close — they sound thick and warm rather than sharp. You're not laying the stick down hard; you're playing the snare with the same touch as the ghost notes, just louder. The contrast between snare and ghost in neo-soul is more like 2:1 (instead of the 4:1 of funk or boom-bap). Everything is quieter and rounder.